Month: July 2012

By Posted on

By Sexton Hardcastle

ROSE CITY- Pepper Gold, world’s greatest superhero, will be holding trials for superheroes to join The superhero squad of superheroes movement. “ALL SUPERHEROES MUST BE APPROVED BY PEPPER GOLD,” yelled Pepper Gold. “ HOW ELSE IS THE PUBLIC GOING TO TRUST SUPERHEROES IF THEY DO NOT HAVE THE PEPPER GOLD STAMP OF APPROVAL?”

Pepper Gold is generously lending his approval to sanction superheroes to build trust in our nation’s defenders. Each potential member has to go through a rigorous Q and A session with Pepper Gold.

Afterwards, each member will be required to pay dues to maintain their membership status. The membership dues are used to pay for crime fighting equipment and body armor. Although current members have yet to see the money spent on the team, Pepper Gold assures them (and the media) that “ALL OF THE MONEY HAS BEEN INVESTED WISELY. THE BODY ARMOR AND NEW GEAR IS JUST TAKING A BIT BE CONSTRUCTED.”

By Posted on
green and black trees under blue sky

By Sheila Teafeathers

ROSE CITY- In a very daring and heroic display of heroism, Pepper Gold fought off a monstrous giant intent on destroying Rose City. “I FOUGHT HIM OFF WITH PEPPER SPRAY,” proclaims the leader of The Super Squad of Superheroes Movement. “IT WAS VERY HARD, BUT THE GIANT RAN AWAY.”

Earlier that day, Pepper Gold held tryouts for potential superheroes to join The Super Squad of Superheroes in a downtown club. The giant interrupted the tryouts. The Rose Cityian ask Pepper Gold if any of the superheroes that tried out made the cut. Pepper Gold said that, “NONE OF THE LOSER SUPERHEROES HAVE THE GUTS NOR THE PHYSICAL POWERS TO JOIN MY TEAM. ALL SUPERHEROES EITHER HATE ME OR ARE SUCKERS.”

When the giant landed, Pepper Gold immediately ran to the epicenter of the landing and delivered what can only be called “A HOLY DISPLAY OF PEPPER POWER!” Afterwards, the giant was found comatose in Oxhead Park the next day.

One witness, Pie-man, was quoted to say, “Golly, Pepper Gold is my hero! He clearly was the only REAL superhero that stopped that giant guy. I want to be like him in every way… IN EVERY WAY!.”

The national team of Real Life Superheroes showed up a day later. They decline to comment on the event.