The Arrival
Month: June 2012
Superhero stops Teddy Bear trade
By Tom Hortorwiz
CLEARWATER- An illegal Talking Teddy Bear trade was stopped today by Superhero, the superhero. Armed with his airsoft pistols and 9 mm handgun, Superhero combated shady and armed dock workers single handled. No one else assisted Superhero in his efforts.
“As long Superhero stands, there will not be another Ruxpin War,” proclaimed Superhero. “It is my civic duty to clean up the streets of illegal talking bears… with extreme violence.”
Several dock workers were shot in the kneecaps but there were no fatalities. Police arrived on the scene moments later. There was very little evidence to indicate who orchestrated the illegal trade. However, Clearwater police consider The Opossum as the primary suspect.
Talking teddy bears became illegal after the underground Teddy Ruxpin wars of 1997. Several toy companies attempted to cash in on the fad by creating compatible tapes. The competition escalated into street brawls and eventually into cor the orate gang wars. The City of Industry, CA, was the first city to fall prey to corporate gang violence. To this day, the city remains a wasteland of factories in rubble and charred teddy bears. The U.S. government, in conjecture with the State of California, official declared The City of Industry a No Man’s Land.
tom@clearwatergazette.com
Reals R Us
Totally Naked Commentary
In the second issue I wanted to streamline my drawing. I simplified Totally Naked Man’s hair. I decided to use my computer to draw backgrounds. After this issue I abandoned the idea because it looks horrible
Tryouts
Totally Naked Commentary
So, Pie-Man again. It is unfair for me anymore to ridicule the person this is based on. I’ve learned a lot about different types of people and how they think
The issue is that exclusivity for any outing or group is considered bad. This creates an alternate group of rejects with a common enemy. When I created The Alternates as a team, it was a collection of rejects. When the Heroes Network (an incel superhero forum) was created, it was all rejects. I thought the other groups were on the wrong path, which was why I created The Alternates. I wanted to do better. Some groups do not. Some people have good intentions, others do not. Skyman latched on to those who gave him the time of day. Sometimes he’d betray people for more popular people. I thought that this was a deep character flaw. Now I realize it was fear of rejection. Skyman needed community. Community shifts and so did Skyman. It was vital for him to be liked. I can relate. I loved to be liked.
I think I’ve been too hard on Skyman. I feel terrible for him.
Pepper Gold: Hero Of Ages
Totally Naked Commentary
This story was based on my encounter with Seattle’s Real-Life Superhero, Phoenix Jones. I had a terrible run in with him. I could have gotten over a lot of his bluster, but Phoenix Jones harassed the homeless on patrol. That was one of my biggest no no. I had an argument with Jones, and he wanted to fight me. Makes sense. He was a fighter and people solved things with their fist. I thought it was dumb and walked away.
I am not mad with Phoenix Jones. I was more mad at the the cavalcade of people who followed him. There were people I legitimately thought could see through his grift but didn’t. Those people only saw the outlandishness and bravado Phoenix Jones bought. So they hitched their wagon to Jones and lost.
The RLSH community was a popularity contest. It bothered me that I didn’t do enough to change a culture. I couldn’t. The community had some active people who did actual things. But there was a crap ton of incels. Phoenix Jones represented, to me, that style was more important than fundamentals in a niche culture.
Also, Rich Johnson of Bleeding Cool is a dickhead. The Wall Street Journal can go to hell too.
Satanman
Totally Naked Commentary
When I introduced the concept of Satanman, I never expected the strong reactions it would provoke. Some Real-Life Superheroes were outraged, interpreting my association of Batman with Satan as offensive—not only to their faith but also to the integrity of Batman himself. To them, I had committed a sin against God and insulted a symbol of justice.
But let’s take a step back. Batman, as a character, is the intellectual property of DC Comics and Warner Brothers. While many see him as a force for good, there’s little inherently good about an IP owned by a corporation. The dark truth behind Batman’s history makes this even clearer—Bob Kane may be credited as his creator, but it was Bill Finger who developed the elements that made the character legendary. Yet, Kane profited from the lie, while Finger, the true visionary behind Batman, died in obscurity. Today, few self-respecting comic creators have anything positive to say about Bob Kane, and the character itself, while beloved, carries a legacy built on exploitation.
Satanman emerged from a creative exploration, inspired by stories like Marvels and Kingdom Come. I wanted to craft a world of heroes grounded in realism. Naturally, a Batman-type figure would adopt a frightening persona—what’s more terrifying than Satan himself? Visually, the character blended the aesthetics of Daredevil and Batman, creating something both familiar and fresh. And beyond the controversy, drawing Satanman remains an exciting creative challenge, proving that sometimes, pushing boundaries is what makes storytelling truly compelling.
